Snow Flower and the Secret Fan

“Snow Flower and the Secret Fan” was extremely interesting. Their outlook on life can be compared to what I feel Americans outlook on life is. The practice of footbinding is a significant point in a young girl’s life. This process helps a young girl mature, changing from being simply a child to becoming a young adult, gaining more knowledge and experience. This process causes girls to learn obedience and discipline as they continue to walk on their feet until their bones break thus giving them the honored golden lily feet. While Americans have no such practice, young girls do go through a sort of process of maturing which brings them from being a child to being a young adult. The mark of a child turning into a young woman is generally achieved when a girl gets her first period. During this time, girls learn discipline because they must now deal with this change in their life. Having a monthly cycle is a significant part of life maturity, just as footbinding is a significant part of their life maturity.
The chapter “Love” was interesting because of the many different ways that women are expected to love. She states that they are told to love their children, love your daughters but love your sons more, love your husbands, love the in-laws, and to love your parents. This all seems simple enough, but when you continue reading there are always stipulations that cause it hard for this sort of love to be given. Many times, the love they are expected to give automatically leads them into large amounts of sadness, unhappiness, and beatings. In a way, Americans are taught to love in much the same ways, excluding loving your son more. While women in America are taught to love their children unconditionally, their love for their sons allows these boys to do different duties as well as developing into strong people. This unconditional love also allows daughters to develop and mature so that they too will be able to become a loving parent..
The significance of a laotong, or old same was overwhelming to me. For me this would be the duty of a family. Lily’s laotong relationship with Snow Flower went far beyond what a typical friend does or is. They fell in love with each other to help them escape themselves from the hardships they came across with husbands or people in general. The part where a laotong will wind up knowing more about you than your husband will know about you is amazing. The significance of a husband was not to know you or love you, but to impregnate you. Lily finds that doing bed business is ill favored and no fun at all but knows that she must in order to get pregnant to have a baby boy. There is no talk that goes on, which makes me think that the only way to get close to anyone is through sworn sisters or a laotong. I have trouble understanding this fact because the person who knows the most about me as well as being the closest to me is my fiancé.
Snow Flower has many miscarriages, causing her husband to beat her. When Lily hears about this, her advice to Snow Flower is to try again and have a baby boy. Snow Flower diligently follows the instructions that Lily dictates to her. The problem with this is that as Snow Flower is doing what Lily tells her to do, Lily is forgetting to see how Snow Flower needs her laotong’s shoulder to cry on. It makes me wonder why Snow Flower continued to love Lily as she did when she was being treated this way. Was it simply because she knew that Lily was trying her best, or is it just because of a binding contract that they wrote when they were young? The fact that Lily misreads Snow Flower’s statement on the fan gives me the idea that Lily did not have the true love for Snow Flower that a laotong should have for her mate.
As an outsider looking into a culture steeped in traditions, this story presents many concepts difficult to understand or accept. Understanding this story comes from the knowledge of commitment and love and the sense of honor they have for their traditions.